9 Reasons Juice Cleanses Are a Stupid Idea

Considering a detox? There are smarter ways to get your eating habits back on track.

As part of your New Year's weight-loss plan, you may be contemplating a juice cleanse.Don't. 

Here's why: The words cleanse or "detox" are incredibly sexy marketing terms, and for that reason are wildly misleading. They always imply that somehow, by going on some form of beverage-fueled hunger strike, you can actually drop the pounds fast and help rid your body of toxins (another one of my least-favorite words).

In case you're still thinking about jumping on the cleanse bandwagon, here are my reasons to save your money (and eat a sandwich.)

1. You're flushing money down the toilet.

Sorry, but it's the exact same thing. Think of it this way: When you invest in a "juice cleanse" or purchase juice of any kind for the purpose of "improving" your health, you are committing an act that's akin to taking money and throwing it away. It's a huge waste of time, cash, and misery. In other words, you're doing yourself a disservice. 

The truth is, so long as you have a functioning gut, liver, and kidneys, you're always detoxing — ridding your body of the gunk you just don't need — every minute of every day. The problem with a lot of those cleanses is that it makes it seem like you need to give your organs a "break" from the duress that they've undergone during the holidays, but there's simply no scientific evidence to support that they need said relief to begin with. And, there's no research that supports drinking spicy maple syrup-water to help your organs do the job that they're there to do.

2. You can't fool your brain... or the scale.

Call me crazy, but cleanses and detoxes tend to backfire by making you gain weight. Why? The process of juicing, whether it's cold pressed or blended, takes away the satisfaction of chewing, swallowing, and digesting (a.k.a, eating food like other normal humans). Instead, it provides a double-whammy of a health-hazard: You don't feel full, but you've just consumed a ton of calories.

3. All the good stuff is gone.

Since the veggies and fruit that provide the base for all juices have become shadows of their former selves, you actually pay good money to remove the best qualities from nature's best foods: Fiber, protein, vitamins and minerals — leaving you with just the sugar. In most cases, some of these detox diets wind up being higher in calories than a normal day of eating (yes, really), and ultimately result in weight gain.

In my opinion, better you spend the cash on decadent, high-quality desserts you love (hello, French macaron!) rather than running around thinking you're "cleansed" but really just riding out the last moments of your blood sugar-spike.

4. Get ready to "retox" afterward.

Because there's nothing satisfying about eating air and drinking cold juice all day, I wouldn't be surprised if you find yourself daydreaming about downing a gallon of ice cream, scarfing a bucket of fried chicken, or engaging in other odd eating behavior you wouldn't normally do. Even if by some magical placebo effect you do feel as cleansed as Gwyneth Paltrow after a "cupping" session (anyone remember that trend from a few years back?!), you may negate all of that work in just one "post-detox" meal.

5. Everybody else gets annoyed — with good reason.

If you're cleansing, detoxing, or trying some other month-long diet that requires you to eliminate everything except for basically ice: You're annoying. Period. 

I know, I know, "Do you," and all that. But if you insist on a month (or week or whatever) detox, do us all a favor and leave it off of social media. Your public display of juice drinking has a bad effect on others: You're a) making them feel bad for eating normally, aka "food shaming," during this time of year, and b) you just may be compelling enough to get others to throw their money away on sugary water, and that's just not sensible in these financially troubled times. You know?!

6. Food was made to be eaten, not drunk.

So eat it! That means no juicing or other forms of sugar water-induced torture. Triple up on the veggies (and fruit) and make those the star of every meal. Where you might want to cut down? Anything that feels heavy to you, like red meat, anything fried, and baked goods. 

7. Sleep is a better way to feel better.

If you're anything like me and you do feel like you've indulged just a bit too much from all that holiday cheer, there are other dietitian-approved tricks to help you get back on track the right way. First, if you're ready to crash after the holidays: Take extra time to take care of yourself and rest more. Yes, you can also indulge in a few naps, too. If you do, you might even have the energy for those workouts at least three times a week — which will go much farther in getting you back to pre-holiday shape.

8. As is cutting back on the booze.

'Tis the season to be a teetotaler! Scaling back on the booze post-holidays is an easy way to feel better and more refreshed without doing too much work. When you do indulge: Make sure you're sticking to clears, like spirits with club soda, or a glass of wine or beer. And make sure you're hydrating—constantly! Most us need a minimum of eight cups of water a day.

9. Fads are a terrible idea.

The hottest detox fad I'm seeing for 2016? Last year's "art supplies" trend is still around (eating charcoal, clay, and other forms of sediment).

The newest one to avoid is "clean eating." Keep in mind: Just because an avocado-walnut-"crunchy" kale-salad dripping in coconut oil is deemed "clean" by a so-called "expert" on your Instagram feed does not make it an unlimited food. Moral of the story? Avoid fads, eat real food, watch some Netflix, and use this winter as a time to relax and unwind (perhaps with a glass of wine in-hand). Now that's my kind of detox.

Jaclyn London, MS, RD, CDN, is the nutrition director for the Good Housekeeping Research Institute.

Resource: goodhousekeeping.com